Timeless Trickery
by beckers123
Summary: Lily's friends have had enough. They've hatched an elaborate scheme to get Lily and James together, and are going to dedicate this year to pulling it off. But things keep going wrong: bitchy OCs, underestimations and more. Will their plan ever work? JL
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **Ain't mine!

**Summary: **Lily's friends have had enough. They've hatched an elaborate scheme to get Lily and James together, and are going to dedicate this year to pulling it off. But things keep going wrong: bitchy OCs, underestimations and more. Will their plan ever work?

* * *

Prologue

"Goooood morning, Lily!"

I opened one eye groggily, and looked up into the narrow face of James Potter. His glasses were askew on his nose as if he had only just shoved them on, his black hair was messier than usual, and he was wearing no shirt.

I inhaled sharply and sat up so fast I felt dizzy. I was wearing a tank top and somebody else's boxers. My auburn hair, which fell to just past my shoulders, was disturbingly tousled. One bra strap was sliding down my freckled shoulder.

"Oh, FUCK."

I said it more loudly than I had intended, for James quirked a wry grin at me and said, "Now, Lily, don't get all–"

I yanked the covers off of my legs and slid onto the floor. I stood up shakily and stared back at James, who was still sitting in bed. "FUCK!"

James smiled again, though a bit more awkwardly. "Never knew you had such a harsh mouth, Lily… I mean, even after last _night­­_–"

I covered my ears, not wanting to hear more. "ARIADNE BECKET, I AM GOING TO _KILL _YOU!"

Without another word, I ran out of the dormitory and back down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room, ignoring James's cries of, "Lily… WAIT!"

Review :)


	2. Introductions

**Disclaimer: **Ain't mine!

**Summary: **Lily's friends have had enough. They've hatched an elaborate scheme to get Lily and James together, and are going to dedicate this year to pulling it off. But things keep going wrong: bitchy OCs, underestimations and more. Will their plan ever work?

**A/N:** Thanks to **Asian-Novelist** for the review!

* * *

Chapter One: Introductions

Maybe I should back up a little.

My name is Lily Evans, I'm seventeen, and I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Got that?

Good.

There is a boy named James Potter, also seventeen, who also currently attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – though honestly, after all the shit he's pulled, I can't imagine why he hasn't been expelled yet.

For reasons I cannot fathom, James is completely obsessed with me – and when I say obsessed, I mean bloody _mad_. He writes me sappy poetry (well, actually, that was just one time), asks me out every other day (facetiously enough, but he always looks so heartbroken when I turn him down), and in general is the bane of my existence, the one aspect of Hogwarts life that prevents me from enjoying myself like a normal teenager.

It's quite frustrating.

Anyway, up until this year, my seventh and final year at Hogwarts, my friends were fully in support of my resolution to forever avoid dating bigheaded James Potter. But then summer came and went, and with it, my friends' intelligence, apparently.

I'm serious. They've gone absolutely mad. In addition to deciding that it's high time Potter and I "got together," they've started using every possible excuse to spend time with the Marauders.

Oh yes, the Marauders.

You see, unfortunately, James Potter is not alone in his quest to be an obnoxious prick. Indeed, there are three more just like him:

Remus Lupin – wan, drawn, peaky, and well-intentioned, though considering the things he lets his friends get away with, I think that he must have a pretty twisted sense of what good intentions really are. He's got light brown hair that's not too long, though it does cover his ears. He always tries to act like the good Marauder, the one who actually _cares _about the rest of the school, and girls always go to talk to him when they want on one of the other ones. Remus is really cute when he smiles, and you can always tell when he's talking to a girl because he busts out this sweet smile that makes their hearts melt, the prat.

Sirius Black – tall, lanky, shaggy dark hair that falls into his eyes in such a way that he can sweep it out of them seductively if he feels so inclined, silvery-gray eyes. He's pretty damn fine. Sirius is an asshole – he has a devil-nay-care attitude and is completely indifferent to trouble, gossip, people's perceptions – indeed, life itself. He always puts on an air of being bored, even around his friends, and maybe he actually is. He and James Potter are downright in love with one another, and the only times I've ever seen Sirius Black sincerely laugh and grin and enjoy himself in public are when the two of them are talking.

Peter Pettigrew – short, blonde, watery blue eyes. He used to be a bit chubby but now he's just cute and round and huggable. Peter absolutely loves to gossip. He also loves his friends. Alas, he's not as quick-witted as the other three, so they tease him a lot. Peter is the Marauder you go to if you want to find out anything about the other three. He's always willing to listen to the latest news of who-wants-to-get-with-whom, and he shares gossip liberally. After Remus, Peter is by far the nicest Marauder – though you always have to be careful not to tell him anything you don't want the rest of them finding out about.

In my opinion, the Marauders are jerks. They think far too highly of themselves. Then again, if they didn't make every attempt to include me in their lives, I would probably want to be accepted, so it's hard to say – do I dislike the Marauders just because I can, or would I still dislike them if they weren't collectively obsessed with me and/or with hooking me up with James?

My friends insist it's the former – i.e., that the only reason I dislike the Marauders is because I have the luxury of doing so without being socially ostracized and/or hexed.

Actually, it wasn't always this way. They used to torment me just as much as the other girls. Then they turned thirteen and grew up – no more teasing girls; girls were for snogging and flirting with. However, they continued to torment a large number of boys who had made their black list, so how much did they mature, really?

By fourth year, James had decided he was madly in love with me. I don't know what started it, and don't particularly care to find out.

Anyway, this year my friends stopped supporting my I-loathe-the-Marauders campaign and have busted out their own new and improved we-LOVE-the-Marauders campaign. It's disgusting.

I suppose I should describe my friends. We are, for the most part, quite different. Sometimes – especially of late – I think the only reason we ended up friends was because we were all put in the same dormitory back in first year.

For example, they like to tease me about being Head Girl. Too often when I come upstairs for bed, I'll find Ariadne Becket sitting on the stone windowsill and smoking a cigarette, her long legs crossed, her waves of dark brown hair pinned loosely back.

"Hey, pal!" she'll say with a grin. "Want a smoke?"

I've given up with the looks of disgust; at this point, I just roll my eyes and say, "No thanks, Ari."

She'll laugh and blow smoke rings toward the ceiling, daring me to tell her off for smoking on school grounds. Ari doesn't even _like_ smoking; she just does it to piss me off.

Indeed, Ariadne Becket does a _lot_ of things to piss me off. She's tall and slender with skin that's almost tan. Her face is dusted with freckles. Her hair is long and dark and wild, but it's very pretty when she's spent a few minutes taming it with some blasts of hot air from her wand. Ariadne has a straight nose and bluish green eyes, fabulously out of place in her dark face. She calls everybody "pal." She tries way too hard to be a badass – or actually, I think she just pretends to try for our amusement. Her nose has a little diamond stud in it and she's forever fantasizing about Sirius Black, even though she knows he's a complete asshole – which is one reason why I have no idea how the hell she thinks. I love Ariadne, but she's pretty fucking crazy.

If Ariadne Becket were the only other girl in my dormitory, I think I'd kill myself. Luckily, there's also Lucy Castillo – sweet Lucy, with her large brown eyes and short brown hair. Lucy is tiny next to Ari, shorter than all of us. She's shy and modest and loves romance – hence the concept of me and James – but she never goes after boys. (Until this year, but I'll get to that later.) Lucy is the one who always makes us talk it out when Ari and I are fighting, and the one who talks to Remus and Peter about me and James far too often. I absolutely adore Lucy, but at the same time, she's far more passive than I am, and her constant good nature gets kind of tedious when I need somebody to fight with.

Indeed, if Lucy Castillo were the only other girl in my dormitory, I would be, if not suicidal, at least severely, severely bored. Luckily, there's also Sinead Fitzgerald – fashionable Sinead, with her biting humor and political know-how. Sinead the flashy London girl (despite her Irish name), Sinead the Muggle-born who will one day take the world by storm. She's of medium height, has big enough boobs to make the boys notice, and has blue-gray eyes and red hair, like mine, though she likes to put crazy highlights in it when she gets bored. Sinead is opinionated and bitchy, always categorizing everybody and gossiping too much. She's fiercely loyal to us, but I'm pretty sure most of the rest of the school isn't too keen on her. Sinead says the things I think, but wouldn't dare speak; she's like me, but way more of a bitch. I dearly love her, but, just as with Ari and Lucy, if Sinead were the only other girl in my dormitory, I think we would end up murdering one another.

Luckily, the four of us make a good team. We get in fights and drift around, but ultimately, we're all in support of one another.

Which is why I don't understand why the three of them have suddenly decided to turn against our philosophy of the last six years and try to force me into a relationship with James Potter.

Review :)


	3. Contemplations

**Disclaimer: **Ain't mine!

**Summary: **Lily's friends have had enough. They've hatched an elaborate scheme to get Lily and James together, and are going to dedicate this year to pulling it off. But things keep going wrong: bitchy OCs, underestimations and more. Will their plan ever work?

**A/N:** Thanks to **Asian-Novelist**, **kelly **and **LiLChOkLaTePiG** for reviewing!

* * *

Chapter Two: Contemplations

Moving back to the present, when I stumbled up the stairs to my dormitory, Potter's shouts still echoing in my ears, I was so mad I wanted to kick something.

I burst in through the door, finding that my lovely roommates had already awoken and were going about there usual morning activities – obviously awaiting my return from the Marauders' dormitory, those bitches.

"Hey pal!" Ariadne exclaimed lazily from her bed. She was wearing a short white silk nightgown and had her hair all done up in a crazy knot. "Have a nice night?"

I glared at her. "Ariadne Becket!" I barked. I was in no mood to be polite. "How could you _do_ this to me?"

Sinead grinned from where she was sitting on the floor painting her toenails blue to match one of her many pairs of ornamental glasses (Sinead doesn't actually need glasses, but she has a bunch of pairs with plain glass in them that she wears on and off like jewelry). "I think that's a question we'd _all_ like to know the answer to, Ari."

Ariadne grinned as well, obviously quite pleased with herself. "_!Lucía, debes venir aca!_" she shouted gleefully toward the bathroom.

I heard Lucy laugh from the shower. "_¡Joder tía, espera! Estoy duchándome!"_

Ariadne giggled as well. "Sorry pal; I missed that!"

Sinead scoffed appreciatively but I was too pissed off to be amused. Ariadne doesn't actually speak Spanish, but she likes to bust out random phrases just to hear Lucy, that sweet Anglo-Spaniard, respond to them.

I stalked over to my bed and yanked off those boxers, whosever they were. Ariadne and Sinead grinned at each other again across the room.

"You guys think this is funny?" I demanded once I had pulled on a pair of trousers. "You think this is _funny_?"

Ariadne and Sinead looked at one other and burst out laughing.

I was too furious to speak; I realized that I was turning bright red.

Lucy took this opportunity to step out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

"_¡Hola chica! Que tal?_" Ariadne asked pleasantly, blowing her an air kiss.

Lucy grinned. "_¡Vete a la mierda!_"

Ariadne nodded knowingly. "I thought as much." Then she looked at Sinead, and then across Lucy's bed at me. "Well, Lily's back from last night's escapade."

Lucy smiled slightly. "So I see."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Oh man, I sure hope _you_ weren't involved in this too, Lucy…"

Lucy shook her head and said, pinching her fingers together for emphasis and affecting an extremely strong Spanish accent, "_Tía, solamente miro. ¡Tú lo sabes!_"

I glared at her – one of the few times I had glared at Lucy in my life!

Lucy smiled at me consolingly. "I only watch, Lils; I never partake!" she stated.

I exhaled in frustration. "And you couldn't stop _these_ two–" I swept my arm toward Sinead and Ariadne "–from completely… completely _humiliating _me?"

Ariadne smirked. "_Humiliated_, Lily? That's a pretty strong word."

Sinead nodded. "Yes, I don't think you were exactly _humiliated_, Lily… and come on, don't even _try_ to tell me you didn't have a good time!"

I stared at her in disbelief. Sinead glanced at me for a moment and then returned to adding a second coat of polish to her toenails.

"What exactly happened, Lily?" Lucy asked tentatively.

"Yeah, Lils, tell us!" Sinead put in quickly, looking up from her toenails again.

Ariadne fought hard not to grin and then added, "Pal, if you want us to show some remorse, you'd damn well better tell us a truly heart wrenching story."

I looked from one girl to the other – my "friends," as they were widely known.

Some friends…

I groaned again and sat down on the nearest bed, flopping onto my back to stare up at the canopy.

The events of the previous evening were rushing back to me.

Sinead, Lucy and Ariadne plopped onto the bed around me.

"Tell us, Lily," Lucy coaxed again.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. But I knew I had to tell them.

* * *

Review, please! Next chapter shall be Lily's recounting of the evening. 

Sorry if the Spanish is a bit off; I don't actually speak it, I just understand it. I found an online translator and messed around with the order of words until it sounded right. I know the punctuation is a bit off; it got messed up in uploading. But aside from that, any native speakers out there to fix glitches?


	4. Recordations

**Disclaimer: **Ain't mine!

**Summary: **Lily's friends have had enough. They've hatched an elaborate scheme to get Lily and James together, and are going to dedicate this year to pulling it off. But things keep going wrong: bitchy OCs, underestimations and more. Will their plan ever work?

**A/N:** I know it's been months since I've updated, but I hope you will forgive me! And I've got several chapters written at this point so the story will now be updated regularly (smiles appealingly).

Thank you, **Classy Lady Elegance**, **InkandPaper** and **Dixio** for reviewing!

Chapter Three: Recordations

It all began last night, I suppose. At the Halloween Party. My god, I still don't understand how I let my friends talk me into that.

"Well, when you lot _insisted_ that I come to that stupid… _Marauder_ party, or whatever it was–"

"The All-Hallow's-Eve-a-palooza!" Sinead put in helpfully. "Wasn't it great?"

I glared at her as Ariadne burst out laughing. Lucy picked up the party invitation from where it lay on the floor and read, "To the Mlles Becket, Castillo, Fitzgerald and – well, it has 'Potter' crossed out with 'Evans' written over it – The Mssrs Black, Potter, Pettigrew and Lupin cordially invite you to attend an All-Hallow's-Eve-a-palooza beginning at nine o'clock in the evening in the Seventh Year Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory on Friday the thirty-first of October. Formal attire required. Drinks will be served, so seventh years only!"

Sinead and Ariadne laughed happily, just as they had laughed when we had first received the overly-pompous invitation – though actually, I liked the formality, too. Usually the Marauders threw parties with invite available only through word-of-mouth, but this was different. And Remus had told Lucy that seventh years from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had also been invited; it sounded like a nice time.

How I wish I had not been so foolhardy.

"We were all at the All-Hallow's-Eve-a-palooza, Lily," Ariadne said briskly. "We just want to hear about what happened when we left you and Jamie-boy!"

I buried my face in my hands as my friends grinned again, curse them all.

---

The party was actually been quite fun at first. The dormitory had been magnificently decorated, with black curtains magically suspended from the high ceiling to divide the area beneath into a large room, a dark passage to the bathroom, and – a third room. "That's the Snog Shack," Sirius Black informed us earnestly while giving us the tour. "Or Shag Shack, if you're lucky."

Ariadne, Sinead and Lucy laughed; I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but laugh a bit, too.

Everyone looked fantastic. Most of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had come as well, and the main room, which included Sirius, Peter and Remus's beds, as well as a long table of assorted food and alcoholic beverages, was packed. Per the invitation, everyone was dressed up.

I have always loved having an excuse to dress up. I feel self-conscious doing it on a day-to-day basis, but when there's a party, I adore borrowing jewelry from Sinead, putting on makeup, and having a good time.

Fittingly, Ariadne was wearing a flattering if rather slutty black dress (short on the bottom, low on the top), Sinead was wearing some oh-so-fetch strapless thing (complete with pleated flounce; I wish I could pull that sort of outfit off without feeling ridiculous), and Lucy was adorable as ever in kitten heels and a simple skirt. I had borrowed a dark green number from Sinead with thin straps and an uneven hemline, and I felt… adequate, to say the least.

Actually, I felt great. It was too bad the night ended the way it did, because I started out having a blast. When we had first arrived James Potter swept up to greet us, but as he offered me his arm I snapped, "Potter, if you say one word to me tonight, I swear I'll leave."

Sinead raised one eyebrow at me and Lucy frowned, but Potter retreated so I didn't care.

"Wow. Bitchy mood, Lils?" Sinead asked lightly.

I shrugged. "I want to have a good time. He's the host. So logically, it's his job to make sure that happens."

Sirius Black came up and offered us a tour of the "locale," as he called it. Ariadne giggled, shook her dark main of hair, and grabbing Sinead by the hand and me by the arm, led us off after him.

So the party started out fine: music, dancing, seventh years laying aside any social barriers and making merry. Even Sinead was polite to everyone, taking shots with Sirius and James before lapsing into an immense discussion of fashion with two girls from Ravenclaw. Ariadne and Lucy sipped mixed drinks and mingled with friends from other houses.

There was a lot of drinking. Actually, come to think of it, that may have been why the party was so much fun – for, indeed, take twenty to thirty people, give them alcohol, and everyone will have a good time.

I don't drink. Or I mean, I've _drank_; I've just never really been drunk. It's not that I'm opposed to it; rather, I feel no need to do it.

Or didn't, until that night.

Somewhere in the midst of it all, Ariadne took a break from flirting good-naturedly with Sirius Black and a Hufflepuff boy to come suggest to me that, for once in my life, I get bloody _drunk_.

I was lounging on Remus's bed next to Sinead at the time. Sinead, who holds her liquor better than any of us, was sipping on spiked punch and laughing cheerfully with Peter Pettigrew. All around me, everyone was having an excellent time. And the most subtle forms of peer pressure are generally the most effective.

"Lily, come do a shot with me!" Ariadne said cheerfully, tugging the bottom of her dress down slightly and pulling her wild dark hair over one shoulder. She wore long silver earrings, Sinead's, I presumed.

I hesitated. I had had a glass of punch earlier but at the time had felt that that was probably plenty.

"Lily, you need to get drunk at least once before you graduate!"

I suddenly laughed. I was having a great time so far and was ready to take it to the next level. Besides, I knew that Sinead would be competent for a long time yet; if you're getting drunk for the first time, it pays to have friends who know how to take care of you on hand.

Sirius Black came up behind Ariadne and whispered something in her ear. She turned toward him, her greenish-blue eyes wide, and grinned. "Lily's going to _drink_!" she informed him excitedly. She turned back to me. "Come on, Lily! Succumb to my peer pressure, damnit!"

Sirius shook a shock of dark hair out of his silver eyes, barked out a laugh, and sat down on the bed next to Sinead and Peter. Sinead put her arms around both of them and, I suspect, winked at Ari, who then hauled me off toward the liquor table.

After a few shots we were back at the bed, but this time I found that Potter and several girls from Hufflepuff had joined the group. Everyone was sitting around in a circle on Remus's comforter, playing poker and periodically toppling over with laughter. Ariadne shoved me onto the bed next to Potter, and, tipsy and happy as I was beginning to feel, I did not protest.

Sinead met my eyes from where she was sitting across the bed between Sirius and Peter, legs crossed, her head against the tall footboard, and her red hair, streaked through with faded highlights, rumpled and mussed on her shoulders. I grinned at her and, I believe, waved. Sinead laughed and laughed and said something to Sirius about how I never drank and was an utter lightweight.

The game went on. Potter began to speak to me, despite what I had insisted upon earlier. The first thing he said was, "Lily, I can see your cards, you know!"

I laughed and laughed. "Well, I can see yours, too, James Potter!" I grabbed at his hand to demonstrate. "See? You have a king and a queen and…"

"Shhh!" He covered my mouth with his hand. "Lily, you'll give the game away!"

I laughed again. He was really quite funny. Odd to think I hadn't appreciated it before now.

"James, want to trade your king for my three?" I suggested enthusiastically, and he grinned at me.

"Well, alright, but I think you owe me more than just the card."

Ariadne, sitting on a different side of the circle, looked away from Sirius, whom she was flirting with (again), and said, "Hey! No fair you two cheating!"

"Wait, wait, if you give me your ace, too, I'll have a straight!" I told James happily.

He pretended to hesitate. "Well… cheat to win, I always say." He handed over the other card. He folded his hand and then I upped the pot.

"No fair!" someone else shrieked, laughing. James and I laughed, too. We couldn't stop laughing. I collapsed into his side and he put his arm around me, but I didn't care. We laughed and laughed as the game disbanded and Ariadne Becket schemed.

The night went on, and it got worse.

By midnight everyone in the room had either collapsed to lie in a happy daze on a bed or was dancing to the music. I found myself sitting on the floor next to James Potter, who stroked my hair as I leaned my head on his shoulder and watched Sinead and Sirius abruptly switch the music to a Celtic romp and start jigging. They jigged faster and faster, Sinead's bare feet on the carpet, her strapless dress not falling down in the slightest because her clothes fit her _that_ well.

Everyone stood in a circle to watch, clapping along. The music sped up and Sinead and Sirius did too. Then suddenly Ariadne Becket stepped away from the circle, caught sight of me and James, and hurried forward to whisper something in James's ear.

He glanced at me, then back at Ariadne, who winked, grinned at me, and skipped off to grab Lucy by the hand and delightedly explain something to her.

"What?" I asked James sweetly as I leaned my head on his shoulder again.

"Nothing," he replied with a bit of a laugh. "Nothing at all."

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I really did want to kiss him. It was the alcohol, of course. Of course. Forget all social inhibitions and prior commitments: James Potter looked damn fine sitting next to me on the carpet, and I wanted to kiss him. And it was really no help that a couple on the bed above us had just started making out. And that Sirius and Sinead, exhausted by dancing as the song ended, had collapsed into one another's arms beside us – though Sinead, ever the quick thinker, remembered Ariadne almost at once and excused herself before the two of them had started anything.

"How are _you_ two?" Sirius asked us breathlessly, forgetting about Sinead immediately.

I smiled at him from James's shoulder. "Good, good."

People were beginning to leave but I was too content and tired and drunk to get up. "I'm in such a happy place right now," I laughed to James. He smiled at me and wiped his glasses off on his shirt before stroking my hair again. I closed my eyes and sighed.

And then Ariadne Becket did what I can never forgive her for.

"Lily, we're about to head back," she whispered to me, leaning down toward me. Then with a sly smile she suggested, "You can stay here if you want to, though."

And I, imbecile that I was, sighed happily again and said, "Yeah, okay."

James stopped stroking my hair to look at me in mild shock.

"Keep doing that; it feels good," I insisted.

He did without a moment's hesitation.

"Take good care of her," Ariadne said with a wink at James before glancing at Sirius, who blew her a kiss, and then waltzing off toward Sinead and Lucy, who were – I assume, because I never looked up to check – waiting for her by the door.

---

This was where my "friends" abandoned me: in the arms of James Potter. What happened afterward was what they had been pressing me to talk about. And as I looked up from my arms and into their eager eyes and bemused smiles, I couldn't help but groan again. The rest of the night had been amazing, but my god, did I regret it.

Review!


End file.
